Pedro will be devastated

I swear I could just make this a non-stop stream of YouTube videos, and I’d have enough content to fill 3 blogs. Seeing as how I can barely manage to update this one, I’ll stick with one for now.

Today, I would like you to meet two new friends of WPU. I don’t know their names, and neither does anyone else. We’ll call the one on the left “Napoleon Dynamite”, because even though he’s hiding his face in an unsurprising act of cowardice, it sure does sound like him. We’ll call the one on the right “White Trash Will Leitch”, because of the Cardinals hat.

Oh, man. It’s only a minute and four seconds, but got enough awesome in it for at least 5 minutes. First, I like that they’re filming in the kitchen, with a crock pot directly behind them. We all know what goes best with dunderheaded racist bloviating: The hearty smell of simmering beef stew!

Then he mentions “dirty immigrants taking the white man’s job”. I knew the economy was in bad shape, but it’s really entered a new dimension when there’s only one job left. You better polish up your resume, because you’re going to be competing against everyone for “the job”. I mean, I have a lot of experience in some different fields, but I just don’t know if I’m as qualified as, say, Barack Obama….Noam Chomsky might also have the inside track. What about Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin? All the Supreme Court Justices have solid resumes, too. I think I’m going to go to my trump card: The glossy cover letter.

Also, I like how Nappy-D is obviously reading from a script, but still uses interjections like “freaking” and “fucking” to hammer home his points. Did he write those in there, or was that just some grade A ad lib?

That was classic, though. It’s just too bad we’ll never find another pair of individuals as classy,charismatic, and brave as these two guys that form NAZI NATION

OHHHH SNAP! HOLD UP! We haven’t heard from ARYAN AUTHORITY yet:

I don’t know which tag-team I like more. NAZI NATION? ARYAN AUTHORITY? NAZI NATION? ARYAN AUTHORITY? It’s like choosing which testicle I’d rather lose! I love them both!

Heyyyyy..waiiiit a second. These “Aryan Authority” guys look familiar. Well, fuck me sideways! Aryan Authority IS Nazi Nation! Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is Finkle!

I see what you did there. You switch sides, and the name of your lonely, retarded friendship changes.

I’ve got nothing more to say about these guys. It’s not fair. It’s like picking on the severely handicapped.

You two are FUCKING MORONS.

UPDATE: I tried searching for these videos again because I wanted to make a YouTube comment on each of them (and I did…check them out), but I couldn’t find them. I especially couldn’t find the “Aryan Authority” one. Why? Because both their Youtube username and video title are spelled “Ayran” Authority. What the fuck is an Ayran? Morons. Master race my ass.

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Getting to know racist groups: The Minuteman Civil Defense Corps

Not all racist groups run around with white hoods, shaved heads, swastika armbands, or black boots with red laces. Some racist groups are just old people. Old people who like America “The way it was”. Nevermind that “The way it was” is just code for “The way it was before the brown people came”.

He’s how the leader of the group, Chris Simcox, describes the MCDC (cool…almost sounds like AC/DC):

You are reading this because you believe that you can actively participate in one of the most important, socially responsible, and peaceful movements for justice since the civil rights movement of the 1960s.

Well, no. I’m pretty much just reading this so I can make fun of you, but whatever.

You have debated, you have begged, you have pleaded with your government officials — public servants whom you trusted to stand by the oath they took when sworn into office to protect the United States from invasion by enemies foreign and domestic.

Begging for protection? Did Simcox walk into his local representative’s office, fall to the floor, and grab onto his/her pantlegs, sobbing:

“Oh, God! I’ll do anything! Just save me from the Messicans! I’ll do anything….I’LL SUCK YO DICK!”

Sorry…I just love using that quote.

The human flood breaching our Homeland Defense is not necessarily the enemy per se; drug dealers, criminals and potential terrorists are, and they should be the source of any ire you may be experiencing.

So, let’s see. The one terrorist attack that has ever happened on US soil was led by Mohamed Atta. How did Atta wind up in America? By legal immigration! He flew here on a commercial flight! So, if it’s terrorists we’re worried about, why don’t we shut down all international tourism while we’re at it. Nobody can come here ever. Sure, we can leave to go to other countries, but we’re not allowed to come back. Why? Well, we could have been brainwashed by terrorists on our vacation, and we need America to be safe!

You are considering joining the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps not because of bias towards people from another country, but rather because you feel your government owes the citizens of the United States protection from people who wish to take advantage of a free society.

So, we’ve evolved from “Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses” to “Keep out”? I wonder where we would go from “Keep out”. Maybe all non-Americans could wear something on their clothes signifying their foreign status. Hell, how about tattoos…kind of like human serial numbers! God, I see how this starts. It’s addicting to think of all the dizzying possibilities!

I come from a generation that has lost the ideal that we are a “can-do nation.”

Simcox, you were born in 1961. The only thing the people of “your generation” are known for doing is a ton of coke and actually paying money to go see Rocky V.

You must be willing to accept the following plan, or you, as a segment of a larger group, are doomed to be remembered in history as representative not of the strongest character, but rather as the weakest link in our maligned and misunderstood group of truly patriotic nationalists. You must understand in the deepest ways the importance of our challenge.

The deepest ways? Is this some sort of Shaolin martial art? Or is it sitting in a deck chair outside of a Winnebago, sipping on Tom Collins mix, occasionally taking a break from silent time to adjust your eagle hat or clean your rifle and imagine the chance you’d get to blow away some poor Mexican farmer with it?

If one single individual steps over the line for their personal gratification, we are all stained with that irresponsible behavior, and labeled forever as a fringe element that embarrasses all who are counting on us to make this historic statement.

Yeah, you don’t want to be known as a fringe element. You don’t want to be seen as small lot of wingnuts….The real fun begins about a minute in:

Minutemanhq.com

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