The Nigger Files: Can you say the word?

I’m gonna start a new feature here at the WPU, it’s gonna be called “The Nigger Files”.  It’s going to be about all the latest happenings with the world’s most hated word. 

Why am I giving it such an abrasive title? Well, because I can do whatever the fuck I want. Being half black rules!

So,  acclaimed rapper and actor  Most Definitely (Mos Def to his friends) challenged fellow blacktors Mike Epps, Donald Faison, and Wood Harris (is this a porn movie?) to refrain from saying the unholiest of unholies during the filming of their upcoming movie “Next Day Air”.

“It was something that was very important to us. It was our way of making a statement that we can express ourselves without using the N-word,” Harris told Starpulse.  

“But it wasn’t just in the movie that we banned the word. We also banned it on set,” he added. “No one could say it. At first it was difficult, but we really stayed on top of each other.  

Really? It was that hard…to not call each other “Nigga”? Congrats on the breakthrough, though.

So, Mos Def be damned, black people are going to call each other “Nigga” for a long time. I know white kids say it to each other all the time. You can’t hide it from me! I know all your darkest secrets! 

Being only a halfie, I wasn’t sure for a long time whether or not I was allowed to say it. Then again, I used to not be able to unhook a bra (may still be true).  I came to the conclusion, that: Yes I can say it. Why? Not because I have Jamaican blood in me, but because I say it with confidence. It’s like trying to sit in in the front row when you actually bought nosebleed seats. You just have to act like you know what you’re doing. Have your hands full with hot dogs and sodas, give the man a knowing smile, and just let loose with a “WHAT UP, NIGGA?”

Now, I’m not saying you won’t get your ass kicked. In fact, your entire life might fall apart like Michael Richards, but at least you can say you went down with style.

Now,  if you’re an aspiring white song writer, you can use the word but ONLY if:

1)You’re supporting a black man’s cause, like Bob Dylan in “Hurricane”

2)Telling a heroic tale from the perspective of an oppressed black man, like Two Gallants in “Long Summer Day”

Who else can say it? Well, you can, if you are:

1)A girl who regularly has sex with black guys. This doesn’t work for guys who have sex with black girls, though. Girls get more leeway, because they’ve had their own civil rights struggles.

2)A guy who’s married to a black woman. You bought the ring, and it comes with privileges. This also definitely works if a white girl marries a black guy..obviously.

3)Someone who is singing the lyrics to their favorite rap song. Don’t ruin the magical bonding moment of rapping with your friends by mumbling or omitting a key word. Chris Rock hits the nail on the head, like always:

 

So, yeah. Get your Dre on.

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Swastikas in the sand, and other fables

I have spent the last 2 or so minutes in near tears. This video, from a BBC docupic, is 2 minutes that I will never forget. You don’t have to know the backstory…That Prussian Blue are two Aryan Power Pop songstresses that know no other truth than what their loving mother, April Gaede, hammered into their undeveloping brains. Just watch and thank me later.

Phil Anselmo is proud to be white

LMAO! What an idiot! Okay. Anselmo, in all fairness, makes a point or two about the double standards that exist. If it’s okay to wear a “It’s a black thing” t-shirt, it should be okay to wear a “white pride” shirt. Fair is fair. Racism is still prevalent, and I have no doubts about that. At the same time, it isn’t the sixties, and my people (blacks and whites), hispanics, asians, and everyone else should be past the point of racial pride.

Race is NOTHING to be proud of. It is purely a matter of circumstance. When supposed leaders of the black community (I’m looking at you, NAACP) crow “Black pride” I laugh just as hard as I laugh at this. I shake my head then, as I shake my head now. NAACP leaders should be saying “Being black is nothing to be discriminated against”. But proud? Fuck that. At that point, you’re no worse than nazi assholes. Just be proud to do right whenever you can.

Phil Anselmo, you are a fucking idiot. And anyone of any race who claims racial pride is right there with you.

It’s like the Beatles, ‘cept they’re whiter than Jesus

There’s something about a British accent that makes everything easier to swallow. I’m nearly compelled to join the BNP after hearing this awesome song.

It’s true….there is no black in the Union Jack. There is also no picture of Robbie Williams in the Union Jack, but that didn’t stop you from embracing that hack.

Prussian Blue: On my “To Do” list (well, the one on the right)

Prussian Blue is a duo of white power pop songstresses that many thought to be an urban legend at first. It turns out they are quite real, and quite stupidly named. People like to say that black people come up with funny names for their offspring, but “Lynx” and “Lamb”!?!?! One sounds like an American Gladiator reject, and the other sounds like…well….and they wanna call black people “animals”? 

On the header of the Prussian Blue website, I give the one on the right a 6/10 (with 10/10 potential) and the one on the left a 3/10 (with a 5/10 potential). That’s just for posterity.

 Prussian blue also has a “fan blog“. Wow. I underestimated their popularity. Maybe they are sweeping the nation and a race war really is impending. Oh..wait..no….It’s written mostly by the family themselves, with a few most certainly charming contributors.

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