When is it okay to admit you’re a racist?

“Are you okay with racial jokes?”

I get asked this question quite a bit…I always get asked it after I tell a tasteless joke, being that the only tasteless jokes a lot of people know are racist jokes.  My tasteless jokes are never involving race. That doesn’t really mean anything, but that’s just how it is. Call it coincidence (Maybe I just think “BLACK PEOPLE LIKE FRIED CHICKEN!!!”, “WHITE PEOPLE CANT DANCE!”, “ASIAN PEOPLE EAT CATS!”, “MEXICANS TAKE SIESTAS!” jokes are unfunny and lazy). I don’t find them offensive, but who knows what is offensive to anyone in particular? Well, I think I do, and I lump race jokes in with discussion about religon and politics. They’re all in the “too much of a headache to deal with unless someone else has something novel to say about it” camp.

Anyways, I, without fail, say that I am comfortable with race jokes. That’s because I am, as long as they’re funny, and/or relevant. The problem therein lies that MOST PEOPLE HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT IS FUNNY. If people aren’t consistently doubled over after you say something with the intention of making people laugh, then you aren’t fucking funny, and you probably shouldn’t be allowed to do racist jokes, because that’s like giving a downs kid a nuke. Too much dangerous power to let a mental defective wield.

The worst thing I hear is the whole “I’m not racist, I hate every ethnicity!” line. No, you don’t . You are a racist. Just admit it! It’s fine to be a racist, just as long as you admit it. Yeah, it’s true…you’ll be shunned by society and forever rendered irrelevant, but at least you stuck to your own personal values.

WHAAAT POWUH!

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And now, for some intentional comedy

Lonely Island episode 1. It brings da funny.